How To Always Fly Under The Radar

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Okay, so here is a link to a thing I wrote for my friend Christine’s Blog

blog!  It’s called “How To Always Fly Under The Radar: Seven Easy Steps!

CHRISTINE’S BLOG: Guest Post: Nathan Adler

http://chrissymcfarlane.blogspot.ca/2011/11/guest-post-nathan-adler.html

And here is the Full Text:

                                                 How To Always Fly-Under The Radar: 

                                                              Seven Easy Steps!

1.    Keep your mouth shut, things that normally remain un-seen or escape notice, rarely make a sound.  (Unless it is like whit-noise, and you never shut up.  In this case, always maintain a steady stream of inoffensive chatter.  Strive to be like the fuzz on the radio, or the snow on the T.V. à you are like the language in which the story is told, or the film through which the light passes in a projector, present and accounted for, but rarely the subject of examination.  BE the fuzzy snow, or the silver nitrate that is essential for the development process, but far from the jazz of colours and fireworks that steal the show, BE the black & white dots on the television being whacked on the side by the man trying to get a better reception.

2.    If you are in an actual airplane, fly low.  Not too low or you will crash into a mountain and die in a fiery terrifying explosion.  This will be counter-productive and certainly attract notice, instead, fly just under that elevation, the height at which radar technology finds it difficult to pick up your signal.  If it helps the creative process, visualize yourself as a stealth plane.

3.    Always wear grey, Fade into the background.  Wear clothing that is the same shade of grey as the grey of the pavement, the grey of the sidewalk, the grey of a cement wall.  Conversely, if you are in a forest, wear camouflage, if you are in Rome, dress like everybody else, but always remember the fall-back position: grey.  Like black, it contains all colours, refracts all aspects of light split through a crystal, except less harsh, less dramatic, and less likely to draw attention.  Think of the cover of the Pink Floyd album, or . . . the song “♪♫♪ come become-a become-a chameleon♪♫♪”.  Adjust yourself to your surroundings.  Blend in.  Conversely à see the following notation in #4!

4.    Dazzle Camouflage, a tactic used by the Navy to disguise their boats, by painting them so bright, so garishly decorated, it confused and mystified their enemies.  Like the sun which is too bright to look at, or a psychedelic splash so confusing to the mind it would rather protect the observer from the harshness of it’s light, and so you are edited out of existence, seen and forgotten all in the same instant.

5.    Avoid making any sudden movements, always think before you leap, never cause a commotion.  Behave as if a dangerous predator were around the next corner, flying high above you, searching for that next small running wriggling creature.  You are that small running wriggling creature, and the eagle-eye is trained upon you.

6.    Always sit at the back of the bus, always sit at the back of a classroom.  Always keep your back to the wall.

7.    Never volunteer for anything, never line up first, or last, stick to the middle while in a herd, so the numbers will protect you.

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About nathanadlerblog

I am a writer and an artist. I write stories, poetry, and articles. I draw, paint, make films and videos, and have done some installations. I work as a glass artist.
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